Have you ever felt lonely? Lonely amidst a sea of people? None of the faces you see carry any significance. They just fade into one hazy picture that makes no sense. When you look around, you don’t know anyone. This feeling of loneliness is inexplicable. Its like the nightmare you had, that is so vivid in your mind but when you try to explain it to someone else, you have no words and an Herculean effort at explaining it makes it sound illogical and it ceases to make sense even to you.

For a person like me who loves solitude, this loneliness scares me. The transition from looking forward to spending time alone, to dreading that moment is very scary. Insecurities that I thought were dead and gone and long buried crop up suddenly from no where. Just one remark or one look can make you feel worthless and small. I question every aspect of me, hoping that it’ll help me in some way. But it doesn’t. Because most of the times this introspection just keeps going in circles. I realise I’m just where I started from and haven’t moved one step forward. And I must probably be the most difficult person when I’m like this…

Ya, I know I’m confused 🙂

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7 thoughts on “

  1. Dearest Confused…

    Don’t sound so sad.. It might be that things are frustrating and even depressing right now..

    But just remember that you have friends who love you and are very concerned about you , even if they are a city away…

    Things will be alright , you’ll see… Even if they are’nt exactly the way you want them to be..

  2. I don’t feel exactly lonely. But once a year I go around looking gloomy, speaking to no one and make brilliantly sarcastic remarks about everything 🙂

    And there’s particularly no reason why it starts off though. I guess I’m wired that way.

  3. lonely?

    kya aap akele hai?

    kya aap ek dost ki talaash mein hai?

    kya aapki bechaini aapko tadpa rahi hai?

    aapko chahiye humara naya product ting-ting-ting!

    chill da……

    n if that doesn’t help, mail me!

  4. As someone said, this is just a phase and it will fade away soon. You know what,these thoughts recur normally when we have many expectations about life and when we always keep pushing ourself so hard.The mantra is to be honest to ourself.

    When we start investing our mind in each and every niceties around us from time to time and start appreciating them as they are, these loneliness thoughts would go to their solitude.

    This looks very easy and simple to say and but takes a good deal of consistent effort to actually reap its fruit…guess I became a philosopher in transit.

  5. Dear Confused..
    I know this is too late in the day, or the week, or the month and I hope you are feeling better.

    I do feel lonley most of the times as well, but that’s because I miss the mosquitoes that hibernate in the winter in Hyderabad. I hence diagnose that you will feel better when summer comes.

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