Today is one of those days when I really wanted to talk. Just talk about all those thoughts pent up within me, thoughts that are killing me. The only reason I don’t want to talk about them is because they don’t make any sense (just like this post if you’re actually still reading this).
Have you ever tried to trace your thoughts back? If you’re actually as jobless as I am, try it one day. The place where you actually end up will have nothing what so ever to do with where you started out from. This always amazes me. Memories are mind’s way of remembering and caring. Maybe I care too much.
The first thing I did this morning when I woke up was to look out of my window. The one thing I love the most about my room is my window. Just standing there and looking out makes me feel great. It doesn’t have the world’s greatest view. But I love standing there and watching people on go with their mundane daily chores. The bachelor who lives in the opposite building, working out and desperately trying to pump up, the little girl who lives in the same building running all over the place to get ready to school, the two little girls who are holding hands, waiting for their school bus, the housewife next door hurrying to the gym after packing off her daughter to school, my building secretary who still gives me a dirty look every time he sees me, the guy next door washing his car, all the housewives haggling with the vegetable vendor on the street, the construction workers getting ready for a hard day’s work. Something was happening with every one around.
It got me thinking about myself, my life. All the things that are going wrong and all the things that are going right, all the things I’m missing, all the things I’m desperately yearning for, all things I’m turning a blind eye to and all the things I’m running after.
Nostalgia, home-sickness and loneliness are not exactly the world’s greatest combination.