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Random retrospective thoughts..

When I was in my final semester at college, my mom had the what-are-you-going-to-do-with-your-life conversation with me. I know that kinda conversation is generally a dad thing. But my dad I rarely talk about things more serious than cars/movies/politics/over-population/weather (you get the drift). So, when my mom asked me that question, I told her I wanted to work and live away from home for a while. She looked at me with a very surprised, I-didn’t-know-this-was-cooking-in-your-mind kinda look. I had no plan of action and I had no idea how I was going to support myself in another city. I didn’t even which city I wanted to move to.

As destiny would have it, I landed in Hyderabad. It’s been almost 2 years since I moved out of my parents’ house. I have shifted 4 houses in less than 2 years (I’m thinking of starting a packers and movers firm. That’s my secret ambition). I’ve accumulated an awful load of stuff that I had no clue about till I had to pack all of it to shift into my new place. I’ve had horrible experiences with some of my roommates. I’ve also found 2 darling roommates for whom I’m extremely thankful. Bad landlords, nosey watchmen, inquisitive caretakers, rude neighbors, noisy kids who’ll never let you sleep on a sunday morning, I’ve seen them all.

I’m at home in this city now. I will even go as far to say that I like Hyderabad. I loved living away from home when I first got here. I went for my first night show movie after I came here. The freedom to do whatever I wanted was heady. But that magic fizzled out in less than 2 months. The grim truth after that is that there were times when I had to go back to an empty/dark house, with no one to share the day’s gossip with (when I was living alone, not now), no more of throwing dirty dishes into the sink or used towels where I liked. While I wasn’t quite spoilt at home, these were things I’d never especially worry about. At times, I still think none of this is worth it, the money, the independence, the work, nothing. There are days when I just want to chuck everything and take the first train back home.

Living alone has not taught me to keep my room tidy or pay my bills on time or “plan” stuff out. What it helped me realize is that I love home more than any place else. It’s actually taught me to appreciate a lot of things my parents have done for me. Like the dinner that’s on the table every night on time. Now I know it’s not a joke to work the entire day and cook for a bunch of people who don’t appreciate it. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop complaining 🙂 I’ll probably think twice before complaining. I’ve realised that I’m a total tam brahm at heart who can’t eat pizzas for lunch for more than a day and will be the happiest when I can get vathakozhambu and vazhakai curry!

I’ve also realised that I can never love any city as much as I love Madras. Neither can I get to know any other city as well. The moment I land at the station/airport and start fighting with the autokarans, I feel at home. It’s a weird thing to say, but to me these are the things that define my hometown. The place I’ve grown to love with all it’s flaws and shortcomings. For me Madras is home and that’s where my heart is.

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7 thoughts on “Random retrospective thoughts..

  1. I like these lines:
    * The moment I land at the station/airport and start fighting with the autokarans, I feel at home.
    * it’s not a joke to work the entire day and cook for a bunch of people who don’t appreciate it.

  2. I believe living away from home helps you know yourself… you learn to appreciate little things in life. I love being on my own.

  3. Well, living away from home is one thing I have always wanted to do. The few days I get to stay away coz of exhibitions n stuff make me crave for more. But then again, I have a few freinds who are living away from home, and they too say im really lucky and stuff.

    But, anyway, everybody HAS to leave home, someday.

    I want to, too.Just a matter of expeiencing it first hand.

  4. Home Sweet Home..tht they call it..its always sweet where ever u stay with parents r without..But with parents u no need to worry about many things..its like a shelter home and staying under a Tree..Remember a sapling living under the shadow cant get the sun light and grow…Let the wings spread across the globe and explore different things..Living with different and difficult people will give experience of getting patience and how to tackle them…With the Latest technologies we wont feel that we are away from our parents..

  5. I can vouch for the messy room…I dont think maintaining a clean room will ever be a part of your personality. But I am one of the few people who has seen the change in you. You are def more mature and independent(finally all my rantings have paid off!!! You are now officially TOLERABLE .) I can also relate to the affection you have to “MADRAS” ( get over it..stop living in denial ) I can see how happy you are when you take a trip back home. As John Pearce said “Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to”….. Cheers …and dont ever complain that I dont check your blog.

  6. Damn right.. tam brahms can’t take pizzas more than once in a week… Me a tam brahm too I am in Hyderabad living alone since 2005, home town is coimbatore.. I go home once in 4 months. Fortunately I am a decent cook and eating pulikozhambu is never outta reach. Felt really bad when I came across people, who thought bachelors had no work other than boozing, smoking and hanging out doin nothin.. I completely agree with you, on having to return home to empty houses after a very hard days work. How nice it would be to have my mom waiting for me at home, ready to make that delicious cup of tea?

    sour grapes i guess.. 😦

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