I look at the screen and I can’t understand any of the shapes or images. Hazy vision, unclear thoughts, incomprehensible actions, mind in a whirl, fingers resting on the keyboard unable to move. Suddenly, the brain seems to take more time than usual to process signals. Even after the signal’s sent out, my body seems to have a different mind of its own and doesn’t want to obey. Twenty windows open at the same time, none of which seem to be there for any reason. I’m staring at the crystal globe on my desk. It seems to merge with my desk and I not able to make out the difference between shine of the globe and the whiteness of desk.
To avert my eyes from the pain, I look around and there are pictures of happier times around me. I look at myself hugging my best friend. The happiness in my eyes, the light in her face, and the joy in the picture seems very alien suddenly. I want that back. Right now!
Is that what I really want? I don’t know. There’s a numb feeling inside, that I’m not able to identify. Is it pain? Or maybe sorrow? Is this supposed to the emptiness that everyone talks about? I want to go home and sleep. Maybe when I wake up it’ll all be gone and I’ll be normal again. I want to go to the beach and stare at the sea. Maybe the waves will engulf this empty feeling. I want to get soaking wet in the rain. Maybe the rain will wash away this pain. I want to eat lot of chocolates. Maybe they’ll fill me with the warmth that I’m unable to feel right now.
Actually, I need a hug. Wish you were a real person!