*I wrote this a couple of weeks ago. I still haven’t been able to get back to any decent exercise routine yet and on top of that, have been binging majorly cos of travel, baby S’s ayush homam and what not*
2 months and 6 days later, I ran today. Now, I know what was missing all these days. A lot has happened these last few months. Life altering things, some trivial stuff, everyday happenings that we pay no attention to. It’s not like I didn’t feel the urge to wear my shoes and head out for a run. Every day when I went to bed, I made plans to run the next day. See, that’s how it works for me. I can’t wake up in the morning and decide to run. The morning run has to be my last thought before I sleep so that when I wake up, I have no time to be indecisive.
The lack of my morning run has made falling asleep pretty hard. My body doesn’t seem to think that running behind my son is a valid form of exercise. Since my sleep is already governed by the son’s, adding insomnia to the mix keeps me in the zombie zone on most days. More than my sleep and exercise, I miss the “my time” running gave me. I’ve tried running in the past and never really took to it. I just assumed that it maybe wasn’t my thing. But after baby S, running seemed to be the only form of exercise I could get since everything else required me to commit to certain timings and I, obviously, couldn’t do that. So these morning runs became “my time”. It was just mine. I didn’t think about the baby or breastfeeding or nighttime feeds or diaper changes. In fact, I didn’t really think about anything. It’s hard to think when I am huffing and puffing. The first time I was able to run for 5 whole minutes without stopping, I felt invincible. Music makes my runs even more special. There are days when the right songs would just play, one after another. My playlist, predictably, is filled with a lot of Raaja. That man is the best running companion, ever! I feel wonderful even on lousy run days cos of him. I look forward to wearing my shoes, plugging in my earphones and just shutting myself out. I recharge and gear up for the new day. Running has helped me regain my confidence. I’m addicted to junk and sweets. In spite of that, I feel like I’m in a good shape. The flab and stretch marks are still there but I feel better than I did pre pregnancy.
Today, when I stepped out for my run and put on my headphones, the perfect song played. I was creaking and panting, my pace was lousy, I thought I was going to pass out before I could even finish a km but when I finished my run, I had the biggest grin on my face. Now, I know what I was missing all these days.