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Flashes..

I felt unwanted. True we were both out together but something just didn’t seem right when she spoke to me. I was watching her from the corner of my eyes. The eyes. Her eyes! They seemed different when she spoke to someone else. They had the mischievous glint of happiness that I never see when we talk. Actually, I had never noticed the way her eyes lit up when she threw her head back and laughed. The way she casually hugged her friend and slipped her arm into hers and pranced off, why doesn’t it happen when I’m with her? Maybe I’m too old or am I just too weird for her? I mean, she didn’t even want to sit next to me.

My entire life flashed in front of my eyes, like a collage of my worst moments. Everything that went wrong, everyone that I treated wrong. The buzz, the pain, the anguish, dulled my senses. I yearned to turn back time and live a perfect life. A life that would’ve been perfect only if I had let it be. I didn’t even give it a chance. In that life, I was an Angel. I was perfect and happy. I was her best friend and she was mine. My perfect man was next me, his hands, wrapped around me, holding me gently. Those hands would protect me, shield me and guard me. They were never too far to brush a tear or hug my sadness away. That hand, my best friend and me, in a meadow filled with happiness.

The constriction in my chest grew tighter. The pressure was building up and I was going to crumble. When I just couldn’t take it anymore, blood rushed back to my face. The grip had loosened. When I regained consciousness, I realised that this too shall pass.

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7 thoughts on “Flashes..

  1. Babe,

    You have to learn to let go. The sad thing in life is that often insult is perceived when none is intended. Obviously that’s what must have happened with you.

    Plus, she’s young. Very immature. You need to give some lee-way for that. I know it hurts (I’ve been there ) But now it’s her thing – she’s built up this image of you in her head and she needs to get over it and that will only happen with time. In the meanwhile, give her space – just try to do whatever it takes to get along, however hard that seems it’s the only way to go.

    One of these days, she’ll notice you laughing and smiling and she’ll wonder why you’re not like that with her and she will try…

    Till then, hang in there. I know it’s tough!

  2. Arun > romba nandri 😛

    Mayur > life does get morbid once in a while da.. 🙂

    Sneha > I know.. I just had to let out the steam!

  3. This happens when u r too possessive abt tht some one. Every unintended action of tht person seems to hurt you. May be you will get over it when logic takes over your emotions.

    And “seeing glint in the eyes” is some sort of mystery for me. Some how I do not manage to read any thing from any one’s eyes yet!

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